The Life He Forgot, I Refused to Lose

After my husband lost his memory, his ex-girlfriend told him I was only the housekeeper. He believed her and made me move into the storage room. I was five months pregnant at the time. From then on, his mother pretended not to hear or see anything, while his ex moved into the master bedroom. My husband thought I was in the way and told me to stop showing up in front of him. I gave birth in the storage room, suffered massive blood loss, and didn’t make it until dawn. When I was reborn, he hadn’t been in that car accident yet. One day early, I picked up my luggage and walked out the door. “This time, I’m leaving.” “Nora, why are you packing a suitcase?” Ethan had just stepped into the entryway and blocked the door. I didn’t stop. I stuffed the last two changes of clothes into the side pocket and pulled the zipper all the way shut. “I’m leaving.” He looked as if he hadn’t understood me. “Leaving? Where are you going?” “That doesn’t matter.” “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?” He reached out and grabbed the suitcase handle, frowning slightly. “Why are you making a scene this late at night? Did you and Mom fight again?” I looked up at him. I knew this face too well. So well that it was the last face I thought about before I closed my eyes in my previous life. Why hadn’t he come to see me? I didn’t answer. I simply pulled his hand off the suitcase handle. “Move.” He had said those exact three words in my previous life. I had been standing outside the storage room with my five-month belly, asking him where I was supposed to go. He had shifted impatiently to the side and left me with those three words. Now it was my turn to say them. He froze. “Nora, what’s wrong with you today?” “I want a divorce.” The living room went silent for five seconds. Then Ethan gave a short, low laugh, as if the idea were ridiculous. “Divorce? You packed your suitcase first and only now decided to tell me? Is this a divorce, or are you just running away from home?” “Interpret it however you want.” “However I want?” He drew a deep breath, clearly trying to hold back his temper. “You’re five months pregnant. Where can you go?” He said it smoothly, with the tone of someone who cared. But I could tell what he really meant. He thought I couldn’t leave. In my previous life, I hadn’t been able to. “Nora, enough. Put the suitcase down. Mom made some ribs—” “Ethan.” I cut him off and looked straight into his eyes. “Tomorrow morning at eleven, don’t take the South Loop Expressway.” He paused. His expression shifted from helplessness to confusion. “What?” “At the third exit, a white delivery van will run a red light. Take another route.” “What are you talking about?” “Whether you listen is up to you.” I pulled my suitcase toward the entryway and changed my shoes. He followed me, his voice softening. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you saying things like this out of nowhere? Are you feeling sick? I can take you to a doctor if you want.” I crouched down to tie my shoes, but my stomach got in the way when I bent over. He didn’t crouch down to help me. He hadn’t in my previous life, either. I tied my own shoes, stood up, and opened the door. “Even if you walk out, at least keep your phone on, okay?” I didn’t answer. The hotel was two stops from home, about a fifteen-minute walk. The young woman at the front desk glanced at me dragging a suitcase by myself, then looked at my stomach twice before saying nothing. When she handed me the key card, my phone vibrated. It wasn’t Ethan. It was a message from an unsaved number. The profile picture was a white daisy. “Big sis Nora~ Ethan called me, and he sounded so anxious. Did you two have a fight? Do you want me to talk to him? You know he always listens to me. We’ve been classmates for years.” Maya. In my previous life, Maya had appeared openly only after the accident, standing innocently outside his hospital room. So she had never really left. She had simply been crouching in the shadows, waiting. I took a screenshot of the message, created a new folder, and saved it there. Then I opened the voice message from Ethan’s mother. “Dinner’s ready. Where did you run off to? You’re never home anymore.” I turned my phone to silent and shoved it under my pillow. The room was dark. A thin line of light slipped through the gap in the curtains. I rested a hand on my stomach. The baby was quiet and peaceful, neither kicking nor fussing. “This time,” I whispered to the empty room, “Mommy isn’t going to die in that storage room.”“Ms. Nora, your blood pressure is a little high. Have you been under a lot of emotional stress lately?” The obstetrician studied my report. “A little.” “A little is still too much at this stage of your pregnancy. You need to control your emotions. You also need more nutrition. You’re underweight.” I nodded and took the examination report. The last report I had received in my previous life had been one I picked up from the floor of the storage room. It had been soaked in blood. The words had blurred beyond recognition. “Where’s your family member? No one came with you?” “No.” The doctor gave me a look but didn’t press the matter. When I walked out of the hospital, I turned my phone back on. Forty-seven missed calls appeared on the screen. Thirty-two from Ethan. Nine from his mother. Six from an unknown number. There was also a message from Maya. The last one had been sent at seven that morning. “You didn’t answer all night, and I’m really worried. I made Ethan breakfast this morning, so don’t worry. I won’t let him go hungry~” I stared at the words “I made Ethan breakfast” for three seconds. When had they become so close? How had I known nothing about it in my previous life? My phone suddenly started ringing. It was Ethan’s mother. “Hello?” “Nora! Get to the hospital right now! Ethan was in a car accident!” My fingers tightened. It had happened. “When?” “Just now! A truck hit him on the South Loop Expressway! They rushed him into the emergency room! Get here immediately! What is wrong with you? You ran away last night, and now he’s been in an accident!” “I warned him yesterday.” “What?” “I told him not to take the South Loop Expressway. He didn’t listen.” There was silence on the other end for two seconds. Then her voice rose sharply. “You… You knew this would happen? Did you do this on purpose? You deliberately didn’t stop him!” I moved the phone farther from my ear. In my previous life, I had been at home making him soup when the accident happened. I hadn’t known a thing. When I got the call, I panicked so badly that I ran to the hospital with my shoes on the wrong feet. And what happened after that? What good had it done for me to go? When he woke up, he didn’t recognize me. Maya told him I was only the housekeeper. He believed her. This time, I had left early. I had warned him early. It still hadn’t mattered. “Are you coming or not?” “No.” “You—” I hung up. I sat on a bench at the hospital for a long time, clutching the examination report until the edges wrinkled. When my phone rang again, the screen showed another unsaved number. I answered. “Big sis, it’s Maya.” Her voice was soft, with a faint tremble. “Ethan is pretty badly hurt. He’s still in surgery. Aren’t you… Aren’t you going to come see him?” “Isn’t he with you?” Maya paused. “What are you talking about? I’m only his old classmate. How could I compare to you? You’re his wife—” “Then why didn’t you tell him I’m his wife?” There was three seconds of silence. Then Maya laughed softly, almost like a sigh. “I don’t understand what you mean. Please come to the hospital first. Ethan needs you.” I didn’t say anything else. I hung up. Then Chloe called. She was my only friend. “Nora, why aren’t you at the hospital? You know Ethan was in an accident, right?” “I know.” “You know and you still haven’t gone? What happened between you two? Maya just called me and said she’s at the hospital with him, but she’s still an outsider—” “Maya called you?” “Yeah. She said she couldn’t reach you. Nora, don’t be stubborn, okay? That girl is worried sick about you.” I leaned back against the bench and closed my eyes. She had moved fast. Maya had extended her reach much faster than I expected. “Chloe, when did you save Maya’s number?” “...A couple of months ago. She came over to your place once, and we added each other on SnapChat. Why?” A couple of months ago, Maya had visited my home. I had no memory of it. Or maybe I simply hadn’t noticed in my previous life. “Nora? Are you okay? You’ve changed.” I opened my eyes and stared at the fluorescent lights on the hospital ceiling. “I needed to.”“Ms. Nora, the joint account under your name has been frozen at the request of the other account holder.” The bank employee behind the counter scrolled through the system with an apologetic expression. “When was it frozen?” “This morning. The reason listed is account security. The account holder has to be present to unfreeze it.” “Who requested the freeze?” “Um…” She hesitated. “The system says it was handled by an authorized representative. The representative is Mrs. Carter.” Ethan’s mother. Ethan was lying in the hospital, and she had already frozen our money. I stood in the middle of the bank lobby and checked my purse. I had only $230 in cash left. I had used most of my credit card limit on maternity clothes the month before. There was a little over eight thousand dollars in my payroll account, but after paying for the hotel and prenatal checkups, very little remained. In my previous life, money had been the hand around my throat. It had kept me from leaving and forced me step by step into the storage room. That wouldn’t happen this time. After leaving the bank, I went to the hospital. Not to see Ethan. I was there to retrieve the medical record book I had left in the obstetrics department two days earlier. Unfortunately, the obstetrics and surgical departments were in the same building. When the elevator reached the third floor, the doors opened. Maya stood at the end of the hallway, walking out of a hospital room with a thermos in her hands. She was wearing a pale gray cashmere cardigan. I stared at it for two seconds. It was mine. There was a small tag sewn inside the collar. I had put it there because another one of my cardigans was the same color, and I was afraid of mixing them up. Maya saw me too. She froze at first, then smiled and hurried over. “Big sis! You finally came! Ethan woke up today, but—” “My cardigan.” Maya looked down at her clothes, then back up at me. Something faint and difficult to read flashed through her eyes. “Oh, this? You left in such a hurry, and I went to your place to help clean up. I was worried your clothes would get moldy, so I wore it for now. If you want it back, I can take it off.” She sounded completely natural, as though borrowing her friend’s husband’s wife’s clothes were the most ordinary thing in the world. As if she already belonged in that home. “How is he?” I asked, ignoring her. Maya sighed. Her expression turned gentle and helpless. “The doctor says it’s traumatic amnesia. He… doesn’t remember being married.” “What did you tell him?” “I didn’t tell him anything.” Maya blinked. “I’ve only been staying by his side. He asked who you were, so I told him you were the woman who helped around the house.” I stared at her. Exactly the same. In my previous life, she had used those exact words. “Why didn’t you tell him I’m his wife?” Maya looked troubled and lowered her voice. “Big sis, the doctor said we can’t upset him. His memories are stuck around his college years. Back then… I was the only person he knew. I didn’t want this either.” She paused and lowered her lashes. “He only remembers me.” She said those three words mournfully, as if she were the victim. A nurse walked past and glanced at us. Maya immediately put on a worried expression. “Big sis, you’ve lost so much weight. You need to take care of yourself. Oh, by the way…” Her eyes drifted down to my stomach. They stopped there for a second. “Your stomach looks bigger. Have you… been eating more lately?” She knew perfectly well that I was pregnant. A five-month belly was obvious to anyone. But she insisted on pretending she didn’t know. She had done the same thing in my previous life. First, she pretended not to know. Then she turned around and told Ethan’s mother, Your son doesn’t remember ever having anything to do with her. Who knows whose baby that is? I didn’t answer. I turned and walked away. Behind me, Maya’s voice followed, not loud or soft, just loud enough for me to hear. “Big sis, when you have time… hand the deed and bankbooks over to Mrs. Carter. Ethan needs them for his hospital paperwork.”“These are your things.” Ethan’s mother stacked two cardboard boxes outside the garage. The packing tape was crooked and uneven. I went through them. A few old pajamas. An expired bottle of body lotion. Two books I had only read halfway. My marriage certificate, household records, and bank cards were nowhere to be found. “Where are my documents?” Ethan’s mother stood just inside her front door with her hands behind her back, like she was guarding herself from a thief. “What documents?” “My marriage certificate. The red one. I personally gave it to you on our wedding day.” “I don’t remember anything like that.” Her eyes darted away. “Ethan says he’s never been married.” “He has amnesia.” “Then how are you going to prove you were married to him?” I looked at her. In my previous life, this was where I had been trapped. Without the marriage certificate in my possession, everything I said was just an unproven claim. Ethan’s mother played dumb, Maya handed her the knife, and Ethan believed the first person closest to him. I was about to speak when the door behind her opened. Maya walked out of the house wearing my plaid apron and carrying a bowl of soup. “Ethan, slow down. Your injuries haven’t healed yet.” Ethan leaned on a cane as he slowly made his way to the entrance. His head was wrapped in gauze, and his face was pale, but his eyes were clearer than I expected. He saw me. There was no expression on his face. He looked at me as if I were a stranger passing by. “You’re the…” He glanced at Maya. Maya immediately leaned close and whispered something in his ear. Ethan frowned, then nodded. He turned to me. “Maya says you used to work as the housekeeper. You took some things when you left and never returned them. Please hand over the keys.” My nails dug into my palms. Not a single word was different. It was exactly the same as in my previous life. “I’m not the housekeeper. Look at my face. You really don’t remember me at all?” He did look at me for a moment. Then he shook his head. His voice was as calm as if he were commenting on the weather. “Sorry. I don’t know you.” Maya gently tugged on his sleeve. “Ethan, don’t make things difficult for her. She probably just wants to stay—” “I’m your wife.” Ethan’s expression finally changed. It wasn’t shock. It was the irritation of someone who had been insulted. “I’ve never been married. If you have some kind of claim, take it through legal channels. Just leave the keys at the door.” He turned and went back inside. Maya remained by the entrance, watching me with an unreadable curve to her lips. “Don’t blame him, big sis. He has amnesia.” She lowered her head and pressed her lips together, as if trying not to laugh. “I packed all your things for you. I’ve been wearing some of the old clothes for now. You know I came here in a hurry and didn’t bring many changes. Don’t worry, I’ll wash everything and return it.” I didn’t look at her. I bent down and searched through the two boxes. At the very bottom, something rolled out of a shirt pocket. A small brown medicine bottle. It had no label, and the cap wasn’t screwed on tightly. I picked it up and glanced at it. My heartbeat skipped. This wasn’t one of the medications we kept at home. I had seen this bottle in my previous life too. After Maya moved in, several kinds of “supplements” appeared on Ethan’s nightstand. She said they were nutritional pills to help restore his memory. But his memory had never returned. Not until I died. I slipped the bottle into my pocket and stood up, carrying the boxes toward the street. Maya followed me two steps, stopping at the iron gate. She lowered her voice. “If you really love him, letting go is better for everyone. Look at how happy he is now.” I stopped. I turned back and let my gaze move from her face to the apron around her waist, then to the slippers on her feet. Those were mine too. “Next time,” I said, “don’t wear my clothes while opening the door to my house.” Maya’s smile froze. When I returned to the hotel, I dialed a number. Chloe didn’t answer, so I called someone else. “Hello, is this Mr. Brooks? I need you to investigate someone for me.” “Who?” “Maya. I want everything you can find. The more detailed, the better.”“You were right about Maya. I found something.” Mr. Brooks pushed a manila envelope across the table. His expression was much more serious than the last time we had met. I sat on the couch in his law office with my medical report resting on my knees. My six-month belly was impossible to hide now, and I had begun to get short of breath when I walked. “Tell me.” “Three years ago, in Harbor City, there was a man named Ryan Cole. He worked in international trade and came from a wealthy family. Two years after he married, he got into a car accident and developed traumatic amnesia. Then his ex-girlfriend appeared.” “Maya.” Mr. Brooks gave me a look. “How did you know?” “I guessed. What happened next?” “His ex moved into his house and fought his wife over him. His wife was pregnant and driven into a corner. In the end, she died by suicide. She jumped from a building after falling into depression. After Ryan recovered his memory, he felt responsible and married his ex-girlfriend. They divorced six months later.” “Why did they divorce?” “Property disputes. Ryan said that after they married, he discovered his ex had been giving him some kind of ‘nutritional supplement.’ After taking it, his headaches worsened, and his memory kept going in and out. He suspected the pills were the problem, but he never had evidence. Nothing came of it.” I placed the little brown bottle on the table. Mr. Brooks stared at it for two seconds. “Where did you get that?” “It fell out of Maya’s pocket. Ethan is also taking the ‘supplements’ she prepares for him.” Mr. Brooks unscrewed the cap and poured out a single off-white capsule. “We need to send this for testing. If the ingredients match what Ryan described—” “Then we can prove she did it deliberately.” He closed the cap. “Are you sure you want to take this step? If the tests confirm it, this will no longer be a simple family dispute.” “I’m sure.” The day the bottle was sent for testing, I tracked down Ryan’s contact information. He now lived in a small subsidized apartment on the outskirts of the city. When he opened the door, I saw a man in his early thirties. He was so thin that his cheekbones protruded, and his eyes were sunken, as if something had hollowed him out over the past few years. “You’re Nora?” He stepped aside. “The lawyer told me about your situation. Come in.” The apartment was small, messy but not dirty. Several old medical records were spread across the coffee table. “Your wife…” “She was four months pregnant when she jumped.” Ryan sat down and stared at his fingers. “I only learned after my memory recovered that Maya had said a lot of things to her. She told my wife I didn’t remember her anymore. That I only loved Maya. My wife was gentle by nature. She carried everything alone for three months.” I couldn’t say anything. Because I hadn’t held on in my previous life either. The only difference was that I hadn’t jumped from a building. I had bled to death on the floor of a storage room. “What about the pills?” “I suspected she was giving me something dangerous, but my memory really was damaged. I couldn’t tell if it was the aftereffects of the accident or the medication. By the time I figured things out and went to the police, we were already divorced, and the evidence was gone.” He looked up at me. “You have the bottle? Don’t lose it. I was ruined because I didn’t preserve the evidence.” “I took pictures, and the medicine has already been sent for testing.” Ryan’s eyelid twitched. He let out a long breath. “Find out the truth for my wife too.” After leaving Ryan’s apartment, I sat in my car for a long time. Then I made another call. It was to Jake, one of Ethan’s college friends. In my previous life, Jake had come to visit Ethan. Maya wouldn’t let him into the bedroom, saying Ethan was resting. Later, Jake got into an argument with Ethan’s mother and said, “There’s something wrong with Maya. How can you all listen to everything she says?” No one had believed him. This time, someone would. He answered after two rings. “Nora? How did you get my number? I’ve been trying to contact you since Ethan’s accident—” “Jake, do you believe there’s something wrong with Maya?” There was a long silence. Then he said, “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to say that.”