His So-Called Love

I was Chase's "nanny" for ten years, staying by his side from middle school all the way through college. Yet because of him, I was relentlessly bullied, whipped, suffered broken bones, and was nearly drugged and assaulted! Through all of it, he remained completely indifferent, holding his darling first love in his arms and flirting: "Women just aren't built for driving! Blair's an exception, of course." Later, when another man appeared at my side, he completely lost his mind: "Are you that desperate for a man? You bitch!" Much later, he claimed that everything he did was because he loved me. A pounding headache throbbed behind my eyes. Chloe and I had just stepped out of our private lounge when a chorus of loud laughter echoed from the room next door. I intended to hurry past, but my name drifted through the slurred chatter. I paused and leaned in. A circle of guys was laughing over how much of a desperate dog I was for Chase. "Hey Chase, last year on your birthday, Harper actually went street racing just because you told her to? How'd that turn out—did she win or lose?" A dismissive male voice echoed through the room: "Lost, obviously. Broke her leg in half. Like I said, women just aren't cut out for racing—" He paused, kissing Blair on the cheek. "Except for my Blair, of course." Laughter and catcalls followed, only to be cut short by a woman barging through the doors. It was Chloe, my best friend who grew up with me in the foster care system. I couldn't grab her in time; when she was drunk, she was stronger than a bull. Peering through the cracked door, I saw her eyes blazing. She grabbed a drink off the table and hurled it directly into Chase's face. She screamed: "You piece of trash! Harper barely even had her driver's license, and you forced her to race Blair?! Why don't you just drop dead?!" "And do you even know that bitch sabotaged the car?! Harper told me from her hospital bed with a fractured bone—her brakes completely failed halfway through the hairpin turn! She almost died! And here you are, acting like it was just a broken leg?!" If people weren't holding Chloe back, she looked ready to rip his throat out with her bare teeth. Hearing this, Chase's arm around Blair loosened slightly. A flicker of suspicion crossed his eyes, gone in a flash. "Where's your proof? Harper just sucked at driving. Stop throwing dirt on Blair! Besides, it's not like I forced her..." Chase's voice trailed off, distinctly guilty. No, he didn't physically force me. He just threatened that if I didn't act as a sparring partner for his precious muse, he'd kick me out of the Montgomery family and get me expelled from university. I was ten when the Montgomeries took me in. Not because I was special, but because some spiritual astrologer claimed my birth chart perfectly countered their young master's bad luck when he fell gravely ill. They needed a scapegoat to ward off his misfortune. And I was the unlucky soul chosen. I was about to graduate and intern at Montgomery Enterprises. Enduring a few practice laps seemed bearable enough. Except when we got to the track, Blair changed the rules. "Aren't you an Ivy League genius? Street racing should be a piece of cake for you. I'll give you three days. Race me then." A professional female racer against a complete amateur. Needless to say, I was bound to lose. Humiliation was her only goal. "I'm not doing it," I had told Chase, who was standing nearby. "Aren't you always such a fast learner? Huh, straight-A student?" Chase mocked, his smile cold and empty. Meaning: I had no choice.On race day, the mountain wind howled. The atmosphere was electric, everyone eager to watch an utter slaughter. The cold seeped into my bones while Chase zipped up Blair's jacket. Blair whined, begging him to be her co-driver. Chase smoothly brushed her off and walked over to me. "Tonight, I'm your navigator." Not far away, Blair shot me a look of venomous hatred. I looked away, dodging the hand he tried to rest on my shoulder. "No need. I found someone else." With that, I waved toward the crowd. A tall man in a black leather jacket stepped forward. "This is my navigator, Sean." His sharp jawline, striking features, and commanding aura instantly drew every eye. Chase lost his temper instantly. "Harper! When did you go behind my back to pick up some random street trash?!" "Oh my god, Chase, how does Harper even know someone like him..." Blair piped up, fanning the flames. "Who is he?" Chase frowned. "Sean used to be a pro racer. Banned for doping... A total degenerate." "Cut the crap, let's start," I cut off Blair's insults, pulled my helmet on, and climbed into the car. Three days. Even under a pro's guidance, I barely managed to memorize the route and keep the car upright. Yet Blair still treated me like a rival to destroy. When the brakes failed, my heart nearly beat out of my chest. We were hurtling down a winding mountain pass. If I couldn't stop, we were dead. "Brakes don't just die on these cars. Someone tampered with them," Sean said, staying deadly calm. Blair's face flashed in my mind. Bravo, Blair! I desperately tried to downshift and brake, but with little luck. The narrow, steep incline sent us smashing against the rock wall again and again. At the very last second, a solid body threw itself over me. The Lins were new money. Rich, sure, but nothing compared to the Montgomeries. Once I recovered, I didn't go after Blair directly, because I knew someone else would put her in her place. And I knew that when his muse got punished, Chase would come take it out on me. When Chase stormed into my bedroom, I was resting with my eyes closed. A broken bone takes months to heal. Unsurprisingly, Chase hadn't visited me once in the hospital. Yet the second his darling girl ran into trouble, he came kicking down my door. He swept everything off my desk with an arm, yelling: "Why did you tattle to my mom?! Harper, are you five years old?! Now Blair's banned from her racing tournament! Happy now?!""Chase, I almost died." I opened my eyes and locked onto him. Chase's eyes darted away, his Adam's apple bobbing as he stammered, "B-but you're fine now, aren't you? Blair lost her championship because of you!" I let out a bitter laugh. Right. As long as I didn't actually end up in a body bag, I was always the one to blame. And his precious Blair was just an amateur racer who barely competed in anything legitimate anyway. Chase, oh Chase... Who was the one who swore he'd always stand by my side? "I didn't tell your mom. You know damn well who's keeping tabs on you. Don't pin your mess on me. I couldn't care less." I rubbed my temples, head throbbing. "Heh... couldn't care less? You know what you did back then. It wouldn't be the first time you ran your mouth!" Chase slammed the door and stormed out. I sank back against the headboard, feeling completely drained. Maybe it takes staring death in the face to realize some things are broken beyond repair. Like the widening chasm between Chase and me. Chase and I were practically childhood friends. Throughout middle school, I was his only deskmate. The Montgomeries arranged that, of course. The heir's circle had to be strictly vetted. I was merely the barrier meant to keep worldly distractions away from their golden boy. That dynamic shattered during our sophomore year of high school, the day Blair transferred in. Unlike the typical preppy schoolgirls in their modest dresses, Blair walked in wearing a leather motorcycle jacket, a helmet tucked under her arm, short shorts over fishnet tights, her striking face stunning even without makeup. Wild, unapologetic, vibrant, and free. She was a spark of lightning for everyone suffocating under endless exams. Including me, and including Chase, who had been raised under the strict, stifling thumb of the Montgomery household. The teacher didn't appreciate it, though. He scolded Blair harshly, telling her she didn't look like a student and ordering her to change out of the fishnets immediately. A well-meaning girl offered her jacket to cover Blair up, but Blair tossed it aside. "Ever heard of personal freedom? What a bunch of nerds." I frowned, but caught Chase letting out a quiet chuckle. Unease pooled in my gut. I quickly tried to redirect his attention. "Um, I won't work my part-time shift tonight. Let's walk home together." Chase snapped out of it and smiled. "Sure, Harper. You always ditch me for your shifts, but you're actually free today?" Yet his eyes kept drifting toward Blair. Maybe it was fate, like the predetermined leads in a romance novel. No matter how I tried to steer around it, their collision course was inevitable. Before long, Blair sat at my desk more and more often. Her nickname for Chase evolved from "Chase" to "Valedictorian Montgomery," and finally to "Chasey." I watched the ice in Chase's eyes melt away as he devoted more and more of his hours to her. No one can juggle two lives at once. Even Chase couldn't escape the reality of plummeting grades caused by his distraction.And because his grades dropped, I was the one who faced the Montgomery family belt. Lash after lash struck my back, cold sweat drenching my skin from the agonizing pain. Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery sat on the high-backed velvet chairs, watching coldly, reminding me never to forget my place and purpose. They said I was nothing more than a stray dog they kept around. Keep the master safe and disciplined, and I'd eat fine food; fail, and I'd be beaten within an inch of my life. A faint, bitter sneer tugged at the corner of my lips. My heart ached far worse than my skin. Because at that very moment, Chase had skipped evening study hall to go riding down the highway with Blair. The Montgomeries never hid my punishments from him. He knew perfectly well that if his grades dropped for no reason, the wrath fell on me. Yet when the guards dragged me away, he had stayed in his seat, excitedly discussing with Blair where to drive next. The very first time I was beaten was when he dragged me into the woods to explore and we got lost. We were only twelve. I spiked a dangerously high fever from the beating. Chase refused to sleep, staying by my bedside through the night, replacing the cold compresses with his own trembling hands despite the private doctors hovering around. The first thing he said when I opened my eyes was: "Harper, from now on, I won't ever let them hit you again. I will always stand by you." He stood by me for five years. Then, right at the dawn of the sixth, he walked over to Blair. So, on the eve of final exams and college apps, I confiscated Blair's love letter to Chase and handed it to his parents. Not out of jealousy. I just didn't want to get beaten again. I didn't want to lose my ticket to a better life. And perhaps, a tiny part of me didn't want Chase to throw away his future. After all, I had been his shadow study companion for all those years. The day the college acceptance letters arrived was also the day Chase cornered me to settle the score. Both of us scored into elite schools. His parents offered me a reward. I smiled meekly, playing the dutiful ward: "I only hope Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery will grant me an internship at the firm. Learning the ropes early will let me assist Chase much better in the future." They exchanged a glance and agreed. To them, I was easy to control, and a teenage girl couldn't cause any real waves. Besides, they had seen firsthand how dedicated I was to Chase over the years. I was ten when I entered the Montgomery estate. Chase was the same age. Struck down by a strange illness, he couldn't walk. I pushed his wheelchair through the gardens every single day, soaking in the sun. He ignored me at first, and I wasn't naturally chatty, but I dreaded being sent back to the orphanage. That was the year I spoke more words than in my entire life. The day his health turned around was the day the household's attitude toward me shifted.I had never stayed in such a massive bedroom, even if they called it the standard guest room. I had never tasted imported Swiss chocolates. Rich, melt-in-your-mouth perfection. I had never played video games until Chase handed me a controller. Back then, he was actually quite sweet. So I poured everything into taking care of him. If I could touch his heart even a tiny bit, the crumbs of affection would keep me safe. I almost never refused his demands. In middle school, his teenage rebellion kicked in. He hated having a shadow follow him everywhere, so he made absurd demands to push me away. Like ordering me to buy sodas for the entire class three minutes before the bell, then leading the class in jeering at me for disrupting the lecture when I ran in late. Telling his parents he loved my cooking, which saddled me with making every single one of his meals. Swapping my exam paper for a blank one, getting me publicly reprimanded for academic negligence. Yet he was contradictory. When people mocked me behind my back, he would charge in with flying fists to shut them up. When another boy helped me with homework, he'd yank me back with a scowl: "What's wrong with asking me instead?" And no matter how terrible my cooking turned out, he ate every single bite down to the last grain of rice. Yet when he learned I gave Blair's confession letter to his parents, he flew into a murderous rage. He seized my collar, shaking with fury, devoid of any joy over his Ivy League admission. "Harper! Satisfied now?! She's with someone else now—are you happy?! Even if you're obsessed with me, how could you be so sickeningly manipulative?! I thought you were different! Why are you... such a disgusting bitch?!" That last word felt like a physical blow to my chest. A suffocating pain seized me, but I swallowed it down. I ripped his hands off my collar, holding back the tears burning behind my eyes. "I don't love you. I kept the letter, and here it is. Take it back. As for her ending up with another guy, I'm disappointed too." I had kept the letter all along; I only showed it to his parents once to report it. Of course, his parents probably spun it to Chase as if I were a greedy pet eagerly running to fetch their approval. Classic Montgomery style. No matter how many years I spent by his side, they made sure he understood I was just a tool—never someone to develop feelings for. My answer only enraged Chase further, like I had stomped on his rawest nerve. "You don't love me?! Then who the hell do you love?!" A few seconds later, realizing he had lost control, he released me. His eyes swirled with emotions I couldn't decipher. "Harper, I will never forgive you." A spark of rage flared in me. For the first time, I pushed right back. "How hilarious. She was casting a wide net and never gave a damn about you, yet you're still groveling at her feet. Who's the pathetic one here?" "And I don't need your forgiveness. Whether you forgive me or not means absolutely jack shit to me!"Blowing up felt amazing in the moment. Once college started, though, I kind of regretted it. His family loosened their leash, and Chase cycled through girlfriend after girlfriend. The Montgomeries kept paying my allowance and salary, so I dutifully remained his assistant. Aside from having to buy his condoms on occasion, the job wasn't unbearable. After all, at fifteen grand a month, I could stomach a lot. Then, out of nowhere, Blair reappeared. After high school graduation, word was she had gone abroad to study with her wealthy boyfriend. Why she came back looking for Chase was anyone's guess. Though I figured it out soon enough. The very first thing Blair called Chase when she saw him again was: "Mr. Montgomery." Back in high school, the family had kept Chase's billionaire heir status under wraps. Everyone just assumed he was an ordinary kid from an upper-middle-class family who happened to be good-looking. Blair included. She had clearly ditched him back then for someone richer. Now that she knew his true lineage, she crawled right back. Before she returned, Chase was merely cold to me. Once she showed up, his attitude turned straight-up venomous. They booked a VIP lounge to celebrate Blair's birthday on a day I was doubled over with agonizing menstrual cramps. I was just typing a message to Chase asking for a sick leave. Before I could hit send, his text flashed on my screen: [Go pick up Blair's birthday cake from Citrus Bakery and bring it to VIP Room 88 at The Celestial Lounge. Thirty minutes.] I scrolled through our chat logs. Yesterday, he ordered me to pick up his takeout. The day before that, he made me fetch a bottle of vintage wine and a pastry for his beloved Blair. Three days ago, he ordered me to grab his ID card so he could book a luxury hotel suite... Jesus Christ. I was a human being, not a pack mule! I forced my aching body out of bed. Checking the GPS, the bakery was three miles away—manageable. But The Celestial Lounge was nearly ten miles further. Thirty minutes? I couldn't make it even if I sprouted wings! I sprinted the whole way. Just as I secured the cake, the skies opened up into a torrential downpour. By the time my cab pulled up to the club, I was shivering, soaked to the bone. Waves of dizziness washed over me from the biting chill. Stumbling forward, I finally reached the lounge doors. The door was ajar, and their voices spilled into the hallway. "You shouldn't always boss Harper around like that. Even if she's your paid helper, she's still a person. Even if she stole my letter and kept us apart for years, you shouldn't be so harsh on her!" Chase's voice flared with heated anger: "My family pays her! She deserves every bit of it! Backstabbing bitches who tear people apart deserve to burn in hell!" Hearing that, I shoved the door wide open. The spite on Chase's face and the smug malice on Blair's instantly froze. "Cake's here. I'm leaving." I set the box gently onto the counter. It was a gorgeous strawberry shortcake—something I had never once tasted in my life. As I turned to leave, Blair let out a theatrical gasp. "Oh my god! Harper! What's that blood on your skirt?!" My heart plummeted. Had my period leaked through my clothes? Before I could process it, Chase's jacket whipped through the air, smacking hard against me. "Take it and get the hell out! Disgusting!" "I shouldn't have let you come. Covered in blood—what a curse!" I turned around in silence, staring at him with utter exhaustion. The jacket slumped at my feet. The metal zipper had slammed against my chest, leaving a sharp, throbbing sting. I didn't argue. Even an overworked servant has a limit to how much humiliation she can take. Under my steady gaze, Chase couldn't hold eye contact. Slowly, deliberately, I began to applaud in front of the whole room. "Bravo, Chase. You two really are made for each other." Word by word, I said, "Equally pathetic, trashy, and vile." "I hope you two grow old together and torment each other forever!" With that, I grabbed the cake and hurled it straight into their faces with lightning speed. Before anyone could react, I dashed to the doorway and yelled my parting words: "Screw you, Montgomery! I quit!" The moment I cleared the lounge, my knees gave out. I slid down the cold wall, my vision tunneling to black. The second before darkness swallowed me, I felt myself falling into warm, steady arms.